13:37

Livet är konstigt!
Fick en ingivelse att läsa mer på bloggen där den man som förlorade sin son i en tågolycka för någon vecka sedan skriver så vackert men bedövande sorgligt om sina känslor.
Begravningen är idag. Klockorna skulle ringa 13:37 - Jag tittar på klockan på datorn... 13:37.

All kärlek till den familjen idag!! <3

Läs!

As much as I pity myself I have absolutley nothing to complain about compared to this.

This link is to a blog of a man whos family lost their 14 year old son in a train accident a few weeks ago. It's so beutifully written and painful that it ripps your heart out. For all Swedes - Read it and remember how precious life is!

http://faschingseskapader.blogspot.com/

Carousel

I have crystals adrift in my ear... crystals might sound luxurious, but these tiny F'ers needs to calm down and stop messing with my sense of balance... Whenever I move or when things move too fast before my eyes it's like I'm on a carousel and I feel sick...

It started on thursday. I was sure I had caught the stomach flu and fled from work. Took the bus from Dalagatan to Gullmarsplan (normally about 25 minutes) and had to get off the bus 4 times as I thought I was gonna puke. Didn't! Thank god for small pleasures :)
Slept most of thursday afternoon and all friday. Have been up but not able to do much since then. I really need to go to work!!

Went to the hospital on sunday and they took ECG and bloodtests and whathaveyou, and confirmed that the tiny crystals in my ear are drifting around. It will probably disappear in a matter of days, but I want it solved now!! Can't move, can't read, can't watch telly, can hardly be on the computer, I'm going crazy! Thank god for audio books! And for my cyber sisters who are checking in on me <3

Went to the store earlier as I'm almost out of everything eatible that doesn't need to be prepared. Felt 100 yrs old staggering back...

Done whining now I think... :)
I'll be fine.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Positivity?

Checking the internet and noticing everyones positivity for the new year and wondering:

A) Is it for real?
B) Is it some sort of affirmation?
C) Is it beacuse you should say such things?

I'm an emotionally challanged person :) I don't get it...
Or... am I cynical...?

Nevermind - Quite content being me - Just curious how others think :)

1/1 2010

Dreaded day turned out to be okay.
Happy again :)

PMS, full moon and new-years-lonley-sad

how 'bout getting off of these antibiotics
how 'bout stopping eating when I'm full up
how 'bout them transparent dangling carrots
how 'bout that ever elusive kudo

how 'bout no longer being masochistic
how 'bout remembering your divinity
how 'bout unabashedly bawling your eyes out

the moment I let go of it was the moment
I got more than I could handle
the moment I jumped off of it
was the moment I touched down

Wise

In the words of Rick Springfield:

It's funny how desire can burn you up inside
and make you committ emotional suicide

Enough now!
Dare to feel and act.
Get a life

Yes!

Last day

Did my last day at work yesterday.
I got some really nice flowers from my boss' boss. She's sweet.
Will meet my team for glögg (sort of glühwine) wednesday evening and it will be nice to have a party'ish end to it.
I sent out a goodbye e-mail to those I have worked with and it's really a boost for the confidence to hear what they answer back. I like to think I have made some difference and I think my successor will have some problems as she's not the diplomatic type :) I hope it will be alright.

It feels a bit weird and I will miss my collegues, but I am convinced I have made the right decision and I'm really looking forward to starting at Teleperformance on monday. Will kickstart by going to Oslo om monday morning :)

Changing job

I just have 3 more days left at my old job.

This is how happy I am...

Hamburg

Me and my girls went to Hamburg last week.
They mean the world to me and I just love them to bits.
xxx

Gothenburg

Went to see Europe in Gothenburg on friday. Or maybe more like... went to see friends who went to see Europe :)

Crazy crowd. Somewhere between 50 000 - 100 000 according to the press. Managed to stay sort of close for a song and a half and realized I didn't enjoy it one bit, so I left. Took me about 30 minutes to even get out of the crowd... Went to HRC for beers and nachos. They played excellent music, so I had a great time despite missing my fave band.

Loved meeting up with the friends again. I wish we all could meet more often!

Going with Stefy to Marcels funeral. It will be a tough week...

Sad day

The best bass player in the world, Marcel Jacob, took his life yesterday...

I suppose creative genious and depression sometimes go hand in hand, but it's such a waste!!!

I feel so much for his former girlfriend Stefy. I wish I could just be there for her in person and not only with words through a pc.

Stefy (& Marcel) made my 40'th birthday.

I was gonna go to Holland and Arrow Rock Festival the next day and meet up with friends there, but on the night of my birthday I was alone in Stockholm.

I decided to go to Anchor for a beer. I sat alone at the bar feeling, admittedly, a bit pathetic and I see this girl I think I recognise, passing me to go to the rest room, when she comes back it turns out to be my Italian friend Stefy. Sunny, happy, lovely Stefy. She invites me to their table and I spend a great couple of hours with her, Marcel and 2 other friends.

I had always admired Marre since the first time I saw him. He played his bass like a lead guitar. Now he also turned out to be a very eloquent guy with a great sense of humor.

I'm sad!

RIP Marre

Much love and energy to Stefy <3

Rigmor Gustafsson

I wanna be able to sing like her!!
I actually took lessons from her back in... Jeez 1986/87.
Best jazz vocalist today.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AD4PUjnf4HE

FYI

Not that anyone asked, but...
There are 775 steps to Yesterdays News.
How do I know? Wii fit is my newst toy and YN is my fave song for a workout.

Vacation

It's no competition on who gets most done you know... it's OK to just relax and read a book!

Calm down!!

Questions

- Is Twitter really fun?
- Why am I always tiered?
- Will I be able to make all forecasts tomorrow?
- Will the bridesmaid dress look good or will I ruin Kates wedding by looking like an ass (or actually in this case... a boob - Or very MUCH boobs?)
- If I buy a gym card will I go?
- Can I go to bed soon?

Damn...

... not very happy with Croatia and the handball team right now...

Woohooo... managed 3 posts and then had a tiny break of 4 months...

What's new since last?
I suppose the biggest thing is that I bought the apartment I shared with my friend Fredric.
Fredric moved out and in with some male friends who are in the music business. I guess that's more fun :) Since I've been single for such a long time it's quite alright to be back to having the place to myself. Now I can do all the unbecomming things that women aren't supposed to do ;)

Place is sort of big, but I reasoned that..yes I could have found something a bit cheaper, but then it would have been further away from the city and I wouldn't know the surroundings. And I really like this area. Anyway - Now I'm in debt over my ears, but it's a good thing to know it's really my place and that I don't have to move around. I'm too old for that!! ;)
Had all the plumbing re-done. It took 2 months and during this time I was without water and bathroom. Finally had it back friday before x-mas. Oh joy!

One of my best friends - Kate, who lives in the UK - is getting married in february, and I'm gonna be her maid of honor. That's the closest I'll ever get to a wedding. LOL. The dress she's chosen for me is beautiful! I will have to tone my arms a bit though...hehe... off to the gym tomorrow...

Wanna bet on when the next post will be posted??

Wasted time

Sunday 10 PM.
Got absolutley nothing done today.
Did some needlepoint and had a nap.
Re-heated food from yesterday.
Tried to work from home but couldn't access job computor

How come it's so hard to start doing something useful?

Going on business trip to Gävle tomorrow. Have to be at central station at 7:10... Bläää

G'night

So far...

... well... I did some grocery shopping. Got the wine. Did the cooking (chicken with saffron rice and tsatziki). Had the nap :)

Thinking about maybe going to IKEA tomorrow, but knowing myself... don't count on it...

Had a text from Jessa about us meeting up soon. She's one of my oldest friends and we try see each other a couple of times each year even though we live far apart. Trying to send a text to Anna but it keeps failing. Weird...

Oh well... Gonna watch "Morse", light some candles and have a glass of wine.